One page of my story I have rarely, if ever, shared is from the days of my first pregnancy while with Alex. Through the years of healing and reflection since, I have come to realize this particular incident was one of the most painful. The shame and heartache it caused is what has always lead me to keep it buried. What is odd is that it isn’t the worst thing that happened over those 10 years of being in a narcissistic abusive relationship. There are other pages that to a re

The other day I was looking for one of the children’s birth records in a file and I came across a copy of an old phone bill. It was marked up with highlights over the same phone number again and again…my ex’s. He had called 38 times in one day. I had obviously filed the bill for my court records back in 2011. Post separation abuse and stalking. A term I had literally never heard of until this past year. In my experience it was worse than anything I had dealt with while we l

After my husband took me to the ground, I was in disbelief. He released my neck, probably also realizing what he had just done. I jumped up quickly and raced up our cascading foyer stairs to my bedroom and shut the door. Our daughter had fallen asleep in our bed, something I had begun to allow more and more to create the separation between him and me. I crawled in beside her, snuggling close but careful not to wake her, and the tears began to fall. I reached for my phone in a

It was a Tuesday evening I had come home from work with some papers for Alex to sign for my father. My dad was in finance and forever keeping our investments, wills, insurance up to date. I come from five siblings and my dad always wanted things legally binded, the money from his legacy safe guarded should the unexpected ever happen ( death, illness, divorce, bankruptcy). The papers that day were about his properties in Florida and basically were protecting those properties f

This past Monday was Survivor of Covert Narssissit Abuse Day, I never knew such a day existed…but according to my social media it feeds…it does. The point of this day is to share that you are a “survivor” in so that you may reach someone who maybe currently trying to navigate a narssistic relationship….and most likely not even realize it. ( I didn’t for many years) Marked day or not, I’ve always shared my journey openly, here on this blog, on social media and whenever someon

I know sometimes the pressure of the world leaves you feeling less than and frustrated with yourself. The social media world you flourish in also adds unsurmountable expectations. Remember your success at this job has come from being exactly who you are…what ever shape, size, mood, opinion you present on any given day. Right now, in this moment, I am so proud of you. You have come so far in just a short time …although I’ve known from an early age the star that shines within y

One thing people don’t talk about much is the guilt that remains after you leave and rebuild. My ex, now in his 50’s, never had any more...

If you are in one of those relationships that you swear, “one day they’ll change”…let me tell you 9 out of 10 ex spouses of narcissists...

When I was pregnant with my second child, my partner and I had been dating for just over a year and I was still in the upheaval of my...

My ex's claim to fame was performing as a beloved 1980's children's television character. The colourful icon appeared and disappeared ...

People always ask, "but wasn't there red flags". And apart from this being blame shifting because it's too uncomfortable to sit in the...

I’ve spent the last two days nursing a seized up low back, an injury that flares up when I don’t listen to my body telling me to slow...

About a year ago my daughter told me she had a strange reoccurring memory of her sitting with an Uncle (on her dad's side) in the waiting...

When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, our first (and only) child, I was so excited and at the same time scared shitless. It...

Since Isla was four years old Father's Day has been for lack of a better word, a shit show. Holidays, birthdays and special days like...

What many people don't know is that despite being in a marriage that was on the brink of disaster, we were also riding high on the...

It always fills your heart when your children find their passions and succeed at their goals. It is what we ultimately dream for them...

Trauma is a funny thing. It nests in your body and appears without warning with a skipped heart beat, a sinking of the gut, a heaviness...

When I was four months pregnant we decided to take a ”baby moon” to Italy. One last hurrah before life as new parents took hold. It was...

The anxiety comes in waves like a boat being tossed at sea. My stomach the boat, the waves the feeling of dread and my heart a rock that...